Trials

Today i was rostered to "observe" the main keyboardist at worship prac ...

Frankly speaking, i didn't know i was THAT rusty... though, it has been more than a year since i've played in any band, and i think i've lost a bit of the feel that was once there.

There was also the tiredness....never had to practice after SUCH a long day before... mann it was hard to focus.

And it just wasn't what i expected. I know there's so much more, a higher level in which we can operate in but we're sorta stuck at a mid level kinda experience; although it's good, i feel we need to go up a notch in our worship. Having said that there's also the place where u just submit to what's required by the church, and you pray God keeps you going.

I'm not one who excels well at starting again. It's a painful process starting at 0 again. i want to be at 9, but there's 8 numbers in between. Long way to go and to learn...

I don't want trials, i want the real deal!

As a Bee

No idea why i've decided to start posting again. Probably coz no one actually reads this anymore. I agree thats it's been PRETTY dead considering it's been a year since my last post.

But hey, it's been busy (hence the title :D ) ...

So maybe i'll start writing again, maybe not; maybe i'll just post something similar in a years time

But maybe the reason i've not really posted is coz i didn't think there was much to write about. Last year was dry, a year of searching and not finding, a year i wished i'd settle earlier at where i eventually ended up, sort of a year wasted.

Church is great, don't get me wrong. But i expected so much more in terms of culture and spirit and attitude. But i understand now its not about finding My kind of church, it's about HIS way of doing it.

Loving ACTS and loving the people who make it great. I pray that He'll guide me and keep me where HE wants me to be.

Whoa ok enough rambling for the first-post-after-so-long. Thank God It's FRIDAY!!!

p.s.

It's actually been TWO YEARS!!! Gosh doesn't Blogger close down these blogs?!?!? lol

The great wait

It's been forever! i'm still waiting for my friggin net to be installed. And they say things work much faster here - yeah right!

Then again, there's nothing to blog about. NOTHING! it's either my life is truly as mundane as i make it out to be, or i've just become desensitized to everything thats happening around me. i'm starting to think it's the latter. I guess it's just the side effects of getting older, which im starting to dread - less then a month to go...

It's just frustrating that things are just so slow. Friends i've used to hang out with don't seem to enjoy what u enjoy anymore, and u realize its just everyone growing up. i sometimes just want to do a peter pan and stay in school/uni forever, be able to play games when i want, sleep in when i feel it, and go meet up with people as i please. So many good things associated with being young, yet, there's this basic instinct to move on, to grow up, to fall in love, to get on with life. I'm at the stage where i can't decide what i want.

Growing up time :)

on another note, i'm glad i've got certain friends who i enjoy just chilling with, and being comfortable in thier company. i know my holidays will be over soon, ad we haven't done the whole "Guitar Hero" thing, but i'm glad for the things we DID do - the Scrubs marathon, the countless lunches and dinners, the random chill-outs here and there. Im excited to see what God brings you into this year, and i know the move is a big one, but remember it's not a step backwards, it's all about wht we make of it :)

And to those who feel i'm trying too hard - i guess i am! hope it doesn't freak you out, but i truly treasure our friendship and we're gonna have an awesome yr this yr hehe

Back to work on Tuesday...in a sadistic kinda way, i'm actually glad !

Gee, i AM getting old

Relief

I've just come out of the MOST stressful period i have been through in my ENtire life...period. The last 3 weeks have been CrAzY, due to my 70% design project that was really worrying me. I just stepped into the library after a dissapointing demonstration session, and i'm just thinking back on the last 12 weeks (yes i started on week one) of work seemingly gone down the drain.

Just a mere 12 hrs before, we had it recognizing shapes and turning at near 90 degree turns. We then decided to improve it by making it near-perfect, a decision that brought the downfall of the bot, and thus leaving us with only left turns, and ONE right. Man, it was embarrasing because our group was expected to do well. Our lecturer, who was taking care of our group had HIGH hopes that it would work. Couldn't stand standing there seeing the look on his face... :(

But i must say, i felt His peace there. Yes there were times i was on the verge of screaming my head off and running around in circles pulling my hair, but he kept me sane : to the 3-4 all nighters i had to endure, through the 'tense' moments we had in the group (not many btw) and the countless hours i spent trapped in the lab. It does count for something - i did my best, and i did it to please Him above all.

Now it's back to life. i'm just so glad the pressure is off; but i do feel guilty for not performing. i feel guitly for dropping a lot of things, including responsibilities, friends, other important stuff to complete some design project. i should have known better...

i need sleep!

My day today

I had a good day. I wonder why i've stopped 'enjoying' my Saturdays anymore, but today was a change for the better :)

We played tennis in the morning...it's been 7-8 months, and it felt good. We comprises of Andrew, Ivie, Richard, Charlene, Bryan and myself. We started at 8 am, and although some of em found it hard to get themselves out of bed in the morning, we all still got there eventually. Playing again was really good, although i have a feeling i was a bit enthusiastic at hitting the balls, that i was a bit TOO aggressive. sorry if i cam across that way, honestly i loved having someone to play with.

Andrew, please start practicing the 'throws'. Remember it's straight up, not in front or behind. hehe :P but ur doing good. Ivie, KLANG BOLEH! hehe. Char, you've got a scary serve girl. The time when i really started to get a real workout was when we played that singles game. Keep it up! Richard i didn't know u were injured! i feel bad for making u run around LOL. And Bryan, we won 2 matches as doubles partners right? Rock on!

Then we decided to crash Peggen's UL BBQ (i still felt like i was crashing although Li invited me, and my UL WAS supposed to go anwy). Had a lot of fun BBQing and talking to so many people. Glad that the Caulfield contingent came down as well =). Special shoutout to Pris, Si Yan, Aaron and Hau Wei.

Then i went home and slept. But that's after my daily dose of RPK's blog. I sometimes feel guilty reading the posts, because its very political, but i'm really interested in the state and condition of the nation at this point, and my goodness, its amazing what you learn when u actually want to find stuff out.

Woke up at 6, Daniel came over for dinner. Watched the Hawks take on the the Kangaroos. Not an extremely good game, but it was ok. glad i had someone to have dinner with and just chill :)

And just want to say a heartfelt thanks to MissE** for being super duper honest with me about stuff. Honestly, now i see where i need to improve myself, and i think i need to find more friends who are not afraid to tell it to my face. i'm a better person (or on the way to becoming one) because of you, so thanks :)

Not as they seem

Some things are not as they seem...

I must admit that i love reading people - as in, even before someone comes up to me to say Hi, i can tell what kind of conversation is going to ensue. No, it's not preconceived ideas about someone, rather it's to prepare me for the conversation that will happen.

But i do get it wrong sometimes. Things that u thought u liked about someone suddenly disappears once you get to know em better. It's like, that perfect someone has flaws, seemingly. Not to say that we should look for perfect people, and discard those who are not to your expectations, but to some degree, it's a bit of a letdown, coz when u finally thought you discovered someone you think is WAY up there, you realize they are human in any case...

But aren't we all? That's what makes me me in a sense, our downfalls. But i realized that there are some CORE things that need to be high standard, and everything else is just trivial in comparison. Some things that i feel is a must are:

a) a heart of worship
b) Godly discipline
c) great sense of communication
d) honesty

among other things. The thing is, it doesn't matter if the tiny flaws ruin the so-called "perfect" picture, as long as they have thier fundamentals right, those are the type of people i want to be around, to love, to cherish and to do life with.

Ok enough babbling... I really want to blog about my encounter with Brookie, but im gonna wait for the pics and vids to come first :D

I *heart* Brooke! She's so awesome hehe

Oh and a shout out to my amazing cell leaders and committee in OCF. I know this month has been a trying and difficult period for all of you, but im glad you guys are pulling through and really supporting the vision WE have for this ministry. Thanks so much guys and girls!!

Take a minute

Now, you've NEVER seen me post many pictures on my blog, let alone a video.

But when i saw this, i actually cried. It really reminded me of how things have been the last couple of weeks. Jesus is just amazing :)

So just take a moment, and watch it, you won't regret i promise. Watch out for 3:45, it just hit me so hard, that He want's us back so badly :)

Oh and btw, the song is Everything, by Lifehouse.